


Ice Cream Sandwich

by agrajag



Series: 4thewords [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 21:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15127865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag
Summary: Derek had never hated ice cream so much in his life. In fact, he normally loved it. But right now he hated ice creamso much. Honestly, what had he ever done in his life to deserve this? He was a good guy. You know what? It wasn't his fault. It was Dex's fault! Of course it wasn't his fault that Dex literally had no idea howthe fuckto eat an ice cream sandwich.





	Ice Cream Sandwich

Derek had never hated ice cream so much in his life. In fact, he normally loved it. Especially mint chocolate chip. That stuff was _the shit_. But right now he hated ice cream _so much_. He wanted to burn it down. And it wouldn't be that hard to burn it down... you know... considering it was ice cream. Honestly, what had he ever done in his life to deserve this? He was a good guy. Sure, maybe sometimes he partied a little too much, but he always handed his assignments in on time. He was supportive of his family, friends, and teammates. He volunteered when he could. He never once burned an ant with a magnifying glass when he was a child. Okay, so now he was reaching.

You know what? It wasn't his fault. It was Dex's fault! Of course! How could he be so blind. Like, this had nothing to do with Derek. Why would it?

Of course it wasn't his fault that Dex literally had no idea how _the fuck_ to eat an ice cream sandwich. Like, he shouldn't be expected to teach a _full grown man_ that you were supposed to eat it. Like a sandwich. And _not_ lick the sides until his tongue could no longer reach any more ice cream. And that once he had finished doing that, he was _not_ supposed to pull the sandwich bits apart and continue licking the ice cream from one side before _finally_ eating the sandwich bit.

Which, what was the sandwich bit? Derek couldn't keep calling it that. Even if it was only in his head. That was definitely his fault, for not knowing the technical term for that part of such a delicious treat, but the rest of it? Watching Dex's tongue for far too long, was not Derek's fault. He could not be blamed for the heat flushing up his neck. Though, perhaps that wasn't all due to Dex's terrible eating skills. It was extremely hot in the Haus.

See, the way this had all started was because the air conditioner finally gave up. It had only been slightly newer than the oven had been, which wasn't saying much. Everyone in the Haus was honestly surprised it had lasted as long as it had, and the only reason in the first place was thanks to Dex and his handyman skills. Which were much better than the earlier mentioned eating skills, but back to that in a moment. Dex had kept that air conditioner running for as long as humanly possible considering the Haus had seven occupants, all with completely different schedules, and so the poor thing was practically running non-stop as soon as the temperature was over 75 degrees. Only Bitty and Chowder were actually used to any real heat. They'd roll their eyes every time someone turned the poor thing on unless it was actually boiling hot outside. But once it hit 95 the one day, and to top it all off it was humid as well, even those two couldn't deny they needed it. So Bitty and Chowder, along with Lardo, who had come in for the weekend to visit, Derek and Dex, were sitting in the living room with the poor air conditioner doing it's thing, when suddenly...

_**CLUNK.** _

"Oh Lord," Bitty said as he glanced over at the air conditioner. "That didn't sound good."

"I'm sure it was nothing, Bits," Lardo replied with a wave of her hand. She was laying on the floor for optimal coolness. Despite Bitty's protesting that the floor was far too dirty for that.

"Yeah, Bitty, chill," Derek chimed in. Dex, naturally, had snorted at that. Yeah, Dex snorted. It was a thing he did. Derek _did not_ find it endearing. No. Not at all. "I'm sure it's gonna be just fine."

Now, this part also might sort of be Derek's fault. It may be very probable that he jinxed things because as soon as he uttered the word 'fine' there was yet another _**CLUNK.**_

A far worse _**CLUNK.**_

The air conditioner gave out a few last valiant bursts of cool air before shutting down completely and everyone in the room turned to stare at the poor machine in disbelief, as if that would magically fix it. Sadly, magic did not exist to their disappointment, and eventually Dex sighed and pushed himself up off the green couch.

"Guess I'll go get my tool kit," he mumbled.

Now, not to totally derail things, but a side note: Dex in repairman mode was, simply put, not fair. Not fair at all. Deep in the winter, it was even worse, because he'd had on one of his trademark flannels and he'd end up having to roll the sleeves up so they weren't in the way while he was working. Perhaps they were lucky in some aspect that it was far too hot and Dex was wearing one of the many Samwell Hockey t-shirts that practically plagued the Haus. So, yeah, no rolled up sleeves thankfully because that was A Thing for Derek, and he had accepted that long before Dex With Rolled Up Sleeves was A Thing. But a handy guy? A guy who had an honest to goodness tool kit that he just happened to keep on hand? A guy who knew the difference between all the different screwdrivers and wrenches without a second thought? A guy who literally went up the stairs and brought said tool kit down to fix the broken air conditioner because he could do that? That was A Thing Derek had not been aware he had until Dex came along. When he had been battling against Betsy on a nearly daily basis, Derek would walk into the Haus looking for some leftover pie only to be accosted by Dex sitting on the kitchen floor, baseball cap sitting backward on his head, tongue sticking out in thought, and Derek would have to physically stop himself from legitimately swooning right then and there.

Anyway, repairman mode was not fair.

And it was too hot for Derek to have to be dealing with it at that moment. Because it _was_ already starting to get hotter in the Haus. The air conditioner had only been off for about five minutes _tops_ and it felt like it was already a full ten degrees warmer.

Chowder and Lardo cheered lazily when Dex came back downstairs with his tool kit in hand. He gave them a half hearted salute before he knelt down in front of the air conditioner and started to get to work. Of course, like good old Betsy, nothing Dex could do was going to make a difference. The air conditioner had seen better days and, well, was not likely going to be seeing anymore. That didn't stop Dex from basically taking the entire thing apart and studying each piece carefully to see if there was anything he could do to save it. He was just starting to put it back together when Bitty got up from his chair, went into the kitchen, and came back with an ice cream sandwich.

"Eat this, honey," he said, handing it to Dex. "You're workin' up such a sweat. It's too hot for you to be doin' this."

"Thanks Bitty," Dex said. He set the ice cream sandwich down for a moment, wiped his hands on his shorts, and picked the treat back up so he could unwrap it.

"I'm going to ignore how unhygienic that was Dex," Derek said, craning his head over the back of the couch at the same time Chowder and Lardo chimed in their thanks for all of Dex's work.

"You're welcome, guys," Dex said to the other three before sneering at Derek. "I do suppose I could use a break."

The ice cream sandwich was finally unwrapped and that brings everything full circle and back to the fact that Derek now hated ice cream.

He watched Dex's tongue get to work and was unable to take his eyes off of him the entire time. Well, he may have glanced away a few times to shoot the others a look like "Are you guys seeing this? Is this guy for real?" though none of them seemed to notice or, if they did, cared. Then again, why would they care? None of them were attracted to Dex so what else was it to them other than their friend eating like a weirdo. And they'd probably think Derek was an even bigger weirdo for thinking that it was _hot as hell_ to watch Dex slowly lick around the ice cream sandwich. Or maybe they wouldn't actually care. Like, Chowder and Farmer were into some pretty rough stuff. Not like Derek wanted to know all the details. He kind of had no choice, though, since they now lived together and Derek couldn't help that he had overheard some... things. He grew up with Shitty, so he knew all about what turned him on, and if it was true that he and Lardo were, well, whatever they were, then she was "guilty by association" or something like that. Thankfully Derek didn't know anything about what got Bitty going because that would just be wrong. Bitty was like the doting older brother for all of them. Like, even the guys on the team who were older than Bitty saw him that way. Though, now that Derek had it in his mind, he was wondering about him and Jack. Jack was a quiet, focused guy. Guys like could be into some weird shit.

Yeah, no. He should not have let his mind wander there and he may now be scarred for life.

He supposed that seeing the guy he liked... wait. Not liked. The guy he was _simply attracted_ to. Seeing the guy he was simply attracted to licking at that damn ice cream sandwich was not that weird. It was a perfectly reasonable reaction to find it hot. Sure, it'd make more sense if it was a popsicle. Or if it had been the holiday season, Derek supposed, a candy cane worked, too.

Anyway, he told himself that if any of the others finally called him out for his blatant staring, he would say it's because he couldn't believe that Dex was 21 years old and didn't know how to eat a fucking ice cream sandwich.

Thankfully, Dex gave one last lick to his fingers after he had finished eating the boring, plain sandwich bits before shaking his head.

"Yeah, that's not good enough. Gotta wash my hands before I get back to work. Don't wanna get everything sticky."

Derek started choking on air. Chowder leaned over to give him a couple pats on the back until he was breathing normally again. He gave Derek a knowing smirk before dropping back into his exhausted position on the other side of the couch. Well, shit. Looked like he was found out after all. It was nice of Chowder not to say anything, though Derek knew the next time they were alone, he was going to get one hell of a chirping. He would have to deal with that later.

"Dude, Dex, I don't think it really matters if it gets sticky," Lardo said, still refusing to even lift her head up. If anything, she had managed to plaster herself even closer to the floor, as if rising even an inch would mean more heat. "I mean, the thing is dead. It's passed on."

Chowder started giggling as he added, "It ceases to be. It's gone and met it's maker."

"Oh, I know this," Bitty said excitedly. "It's, uh, kicked the bucket?"

"Think you skipped a couple there Bits, but thank you for your contribution," Lardo said. She finally moved so she could give Bitty a quick thumbs up before reverting back to essentially planking on the floor.

"Yeah, alright," Dex said, eying their friends warily. "Then, I don't want the dirt to stick to my hands. Either way..." He trailed off before heading into the kitchen. 

Derek waited for Dex to wash his hands and return to putting the air conditioner back together before muttering, "I think I could use one of those ice cream sandwiches," and heading into the kitchen himself. He stood in front of the freezer a little longer than he should have, trying to soak up the cold air, before pulling a sandwich out of the box and unwrapping it. He'd already taken a few bites before he sauntered over and leaned in the doorway to the living room to watch Dex put the last few pieces of the air conditioner back and started screwing everything into place.

"Well, let's give it a shot, just in case," Dex said, but he didn't sound hopeful. He pressed the on button, but as expected, nothing happened.

Chowder groaned and slithered even farther down on the couch. At that point, Derek noted he was starting to look like a Salvador Dali painting. Lardo seemed to finally admit defeat and pushed herself up off the floor.

"I'll go get that rickety old fan from the basement," she said as she headed toward said room.

"Oh, I'll bring the one from my room down," Bitty added. "Chowder, don't you have one in your room you can lend us, too?"

Chowder groaned again, but he nodded and slowly followed Bitty upstairs.

"Well, I guess we're gonna have to butter up Jack for a new air conditioner," Dex said as he began packing up his tool kit. "I mean, there's no way we can afford a new one. Even if we raid the entire Sin Bin. Like, even the smaller models, which honestly we need an industrial sized one, are pretty pricey."

"It's too hot to worry about that. If push comes to shove, I'll ask Mom for help. That'll be faster," Derek replied, though he had a mouthful of ice cream sandwich, so it all came out muffled.

"What are you..." Dex looked over his shoulder and froze. He had to shake his head a few times before he continued. "Damn it Nurse, chew your food before you talk."

"You have _no right_ to chastise me for my eating habits."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, man," Derek muttered. "Nothing."

"Yeah... sure... nothing." Dex rolled his eyes. "You're not as smooth as you think you are, you know?"

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I could tell you were staring at me earlier."

"Oh my God," Derek yelled. "Is that why you were eating like a moron?"

"And I'm not just talking about today. And yes, that's why I was eating that way, but I'm talking about all the times. You've been doing it for awhile now."

"Okay, don't think I'm ignoring the part where you admitted that you ate that ice cream sandwich like an alien who had never seen one in their life before, but we'll come back to that later. Though, you admitting that is the only thing that's keeping me from totally flipping out right now, because knowing you did that on purpose and not that that's how you _actually_ eat ice cream sandwiches is fucking hilarious. But you've noticed me staring and apparently have for awhile. Oh my God."

"Man, don't 'flip out,'" Dex said with a smile. "Why do you think I've been doing dumb shit like that recently? I thought you'd finally do something about it. I didn't want you to think I was trying to chirp you."

"You'd chirp me about this?" Derek asked, hurt.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." Dex rubbed a palm down his face. "I mean, if I told you how I felt, you'd think I'd found out about your crush, and that I was chirping you."

"Wait, so you like me too?"

"Oh thank God, you guys figured it out finally," Chowder said from the staircase before Dex could answer. "Can me and Bitty come down now? It's too hot to keep crouching on these stairs and I wanna plug these fans in ASAP."

"And can I _please_ get out of this disgusting basement?" Lardo shouted through the door.

"Oh my God," Dex groaned. "How long have you been listening?"

"Since you said you tried to seduce Nursey with an ice cream sandwich," Chowder said gleefully.

Derek had turned around and could now see that Chowder and Bitty had not been sneaky at all.. In fact, if he had even turned slightly to the side during he and Dex's conversation, they would have been totally busted. At least Lardo had been nice enough to hide out in the basement the whole time. That place _was_ really disgusting. He totally owed her one for that in the future. If she ever finally decided on a grad school, he'd edit her papers for a month. No, that wasn't enough. Five months, at least. Speaking of the devil, Lardo finally pushed her way out of the basement, while somehow balancing the floor fan that was kept in the basement for emergencies or parties when the poor, little air conditioner wasn't enough to keep everyone cool. Mostly the latter. But now was an emergency, so Derek supposed it was a very small positive of the whole experience that the fan would, for once, serve it's true purpose.

"Come on, y'all," Bitty said as he pulled out the power strip from it's hiding spot tucked up neatly by the wall. "Let's plug in these fans and cool off, alright?"

Derek _did not_ miss the wink Bitty sent his way as he said 'cool off.'

Derek leaned down to help Bitty plug in the fans so none of them could see that he was blushing slightly. He could only imagine how Dex looked.

Probably like a tomato.

He chanced a quick glance over.

Oh yeah. Totally like a tomato.

"You guys couldn't have waited until we maybe finished up that conversation a little more?" Dex asked. He sounded so grumpy. It was cute.

Derek wouldn't admit that it was cute.

Though he supposed he could now. Well, not exactly right then. He'd wait until they were alone and then he could tell Dex all the things he did that Derek thought were cute. Because there were a lot. Derek was going to have to add Dex's terrible seducing skills to that list as well. Because now that the whole ordeal was done and over with, Derek could admit it was funny.

Once they had plugged in the three fans, they set them up to be pointing the couch, turned them all on the highest possible setting, and Derek, Dex, and Lardo sat down on the green couch while Bitty laid down across them.

"Actually, I think this isn't going to work that well," Chowder said. "Bitty's just going to get all the air. Plus him laying on us is trapping us with all this body heat. And what? We're left here to suffer?"

Bitty started laughing, and he almost sounded evil, so the three of them pushed him off so he fell the floor. Bitty floundered for a bit before pushing himself up.

"No damn respect in my own home," he muttered, but he didn't lay back down across everyone. He sat down on the floor in front of them, tucking his legs up under himself. That's how Ollie and Wicks found them about an hour later when they came home from their lunch date. They went up to the attic to bring down the two fans they had up there as well. With five fans running at full blast, Bitty felt rejuvenated enough to give Jack a call, because they all knew how much that took out of both of them, and Jack promised he'd be down the next day with a new air conditioner for them. Ollie and Wicks, who had grabbed their own ice cream sandwiches from the freezer, used them to toast once Bitty delivered the good news. Once they all started to get tired, they made their way to their respective rooms with their fans in tow. Lardo was bunking with Chowder, so she called dibs on the floor fan, although Bitty fretted about her carrying it up the stairs and begged her to leave it in the living room. Derek didn't stay to hear how that ended. He tugged on Dex's hand and lead him to their room.

"So, I'm sorry I'm kinda oblivious," Derek said as he shut the door behind them.

"I'm sorry I was too scared to make the first move," Dex said in return.

"Well, technically, you kinda did?" Derek shrugged. "And, like I said, I was kinda too oblivious to realize."

"I suppose that is true," Dex said.. "Okay, let's just agree it's both our faults in some way, and that it doesn't really matter because we're together now."

"Oh, so we're together?" Dereke joked. "I don't really think we'd gotten that far in the conversation before Chowder interrupted us."

"Shut up Nurse. That's where that conversation was going. I admitted I liked you and that I knew you liked me too, which you confirmed when you started to flip out, so that was the next step, obviously. I mean, unless you don't want to date. Did I read it wrong?" Dex started to rub the back of his neck nervously. "Like, we could do casual if that's... if that's what you want instead."

"What? Oh my God, no, Dex. I'm just messing with you. Come here." Derek pulled Dex close to him and kissed his cheek. "Of course I want to date you. Why else would I _have_ been flipping out? I thought that I wouldn't be able to have this and, then, finding out that I could... It was a lot to take in, you know? I want to date you. I want to drink our coffee at Annie's while holding hands. I want dance with you at Kegsters. I want to do all the cheesy couple things together that we can. On only one condition."

Derek had never seen Dex smile as big as he was in that moment. He tucked his chin down as if he could hide it, but he shuffled in close to Derek and rested his head on his chest.

"Yeah, of course," he said, his words muffled by the fabric of Derek's t-shirt. "What's that?"

"Please, never, _ever_ eat an ice cream sandwich like that again. It was sacrilegious."

Dex may have shoved Derek onto the bottom bunk so hard that Derek, a literal hockey player who was used to hard checks, would have a bruise, but it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i just joined the site [4thewords](4thewords.com) and this was written last night to beat a bunch of pride wignows so i could get a rainbow t-shirt. lol. anyway, you should obviously join and use my referral code (BFUMO34822) so we both get crystals!
> 
> eta: i forgot to tag bitty smh


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